I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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