ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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