Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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