I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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