Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So apparently I’m into choking now
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