the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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