Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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