So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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