Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
