Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
