My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
