I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
