I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
