well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
