Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
