Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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