You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
