i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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