we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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