I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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