all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize