Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
