i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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