Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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