it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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