this beer tastes like vomit already
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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