Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
