this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
