did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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