My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
