sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
