He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
