I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
