Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
