Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There r osticjed everywhere
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
