They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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