just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
