Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
