That's when you crack a 10am beer
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
