I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
