I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We are all done wearing pants today
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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