If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
me + whiskey = a bad person
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize