We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
