u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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