I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
