Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
