I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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