I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
