could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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