What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
