so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
