i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
