It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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