Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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