I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
A+ Viking dick
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
