The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
