dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
