Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
