my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Terrible idea I love it
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
